My Heart is as Deep as the Ocean (Part I) - Poetry
My heart is as deep
as the Mariana Trench,
and like the sea
most will never see
what hides
in those depths.
The darkness can be a shield,
a protector,
a friend.
A cozy place
to curl up and rest.
Some have guessed
that bioluminescence
glimmers brightly
in the absence
of the sun.
They’ve heard
that if they face
the inky chill
of the abyss
they’ll find warmth
when they reach
the trenches.
But who will dive?
Who could survive?
Who would dare
to face the bitter cold
of the midnight zone,
and the monsters
that therein roam?
That live here
…inside of me.
I rarely trust.
I rarely believe.
I’m always ready to flee.
Because I can handle being alone,
but I can’t handle the undertow.
I can’t handle the eddies -
My thoughts,
twisting me violently
as I scream
for the memories to stop.
I’m not afraid of the beasts
or their sharp teeth.
They just need to eat.
They need to survive.
I am both the sea
and all the life within it.
I am the sunlight and the shadows.
The predator and the prey.
I am both comfort and pain.
Both the vortex and the calm.
I am duality in the most ugly
and beautiful way.
I yearn for external love
while I claim
that I love myself.
I do love myself.
I am proud to be
where I am.
I will hold me
from now
until the end.
But may I not grow
so fearful of loss
that I don’t let anyone in.
If someone genuinely
wants to explore
my depths,
and I desire him
to find the treasures
lost on the shipwrecks,
then may I let him.
May I call back the beasts
so they won’t attack him.
May I allow his light to shine
through the darkness
of the murky waters,
unveiling my pale flesh.
Illuminating each crevice and scar
revealing who I truly am.
May he come prepared
to spin in the whirlpools,
losing his direction.
May he learn like I have
that each eddy will end.
After weeks or perhaps months
of swimming through the cold
may he reach
the hydrothermal warmth.
And when he does,
When he descends as far
as one can go
then he’ll know,
what truly lies
within me.
--
Follow up with My Heart is as Deep as the Ocean (Part II)