I sit at the screen and breathe —
In and out.
Blasé is a feeling that’s deep.
It’s not sadness per say,
It’s this looming hole inside of me
That never heals.
Thinking someone or something can fix it,
But they can’t,
Only I can.
I see posts about the recent school shooting in Uvalde.
My heart shatters again and again.
I see my friend is drunk again.
Some people may never change.
No matter how much I pray.
I wish I could heal the world
But I struggle to heal myself.
The meds make me so tired,
No energy to move
So I rest in bed.
Soon it’ll be shower time with Saba.
I’ll wash the makeup off my face —
The colours I wear that say ‘I’m alright’
When deep down I just want to sleep
The day away.