I sit at the screen and breathe —
In and out.
Blasé is a feeling that’s deep.
It’s not sadness per say,
It’s numbness.
It’s this looming hole inside of me
That never heals.
That aches
Thinking someone or something can fix it,
But they can’t,
Only I can.
I see posts about the recent school shooting in Uvalde.
My heart shatters again and again.
I see my friend is drunk again.
Some people may never change.
No matter how much I pray.
I wish I could heal the world
But I struggle to heal myself.
The meds make me so tired,
I’m drained.
No energy to move
So I rest in bed.
Soon it’ll be shower time with Saba.
I’ll wash the makeup off my face —
My mask.
The colours I wear that say ‘I’m alright’
When deep down I just want to sleep
The day away.
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