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Should My Days End (Poetry)

Should my days end

with no romantic love

waiting for me

beyond the veil,

or perhaps no lover

left mourning me,

with a glimmer of light

burning sorrowful

and bright

knowing one day

they will join me;

then let it be known

that in this life

I have felt love.

I have felt love

from my family,

I have felt love

from my friends.

I see the love in round

cream coloured eyes,

a fluff of feathers,

and painless love bites

to remind me she’s boss

but is happy I’m here.

I will not depart this life

having not known love.

At the end of my days

I will rest in peace

knowing some

who ran their hands

along my body,

who caressed my lips

with their lips,

as we lay quivering

in the sheets,

held my heart

within their heart

and truly, truly

loved me.

No one knows

when the end will be

but may I grow old

surrounded by my books

of memories.

Surrounded by the heartache

of love not reciprocated,

and of all the love

I lost.

Between the throbbing aches

may I acknowledge the love

I was offered,

yet could not return.

The hearts I too

did shatter.

May I relish in the love

from my family,

and my incredibly

supportive friends,

and all those strangers

whose lives I’ve touched,

or have touched mine,

yet we’ve never met.

There is so much love

around me

and a little bird

who’s always grateful

to see me.

Yes, when it’s my time to go

I’ll know

that in this life

I was loved.

And God knows,

I have given

so much love back.

No, this is not a suicide poem. I started writing it while in the shower with Saba then when I got out I wrote it down. Emotions emerge from things happening in my life and writing helps release them. I’m sorry if this poem made you sad. I meant it to be bittersweet but sweet in the end that I do feel loved in life.

I understand my ability to express emotion in writing causes some people to be concerned about me. I do want to know if my posts concern you but please give some leeway for creative expression. Writing about pain, sadness or hurt does not equate to being in crisis.

It’s totally okay to check in of course, I’m glad it was brought to my attention that it came off as concerning to some.

Ps. Thanks to Suze Ryan for the editing help. 🫂

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