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This is How I Love You (Poetry)

I wrote this poem the other day. It's a bit intense and kinda came out of left field. It was based on some people from my past that someone in the present triggered memories of.

This is How I love You

By Amy Frank

Flighty. My heart pumping.

Anxiety rising. Fear. Apprehension.

I care what he thinks.

I seek my worth through his words.

Am I good enough?

Tell me.

Am I too hard?

Too soft?

You decide, for I, I am nothing

without you.

I am a shell.

I am clay that needs your strong hands

to guide me.

I want your fingers to run over me,


pushing out my edges,

shaping me,

making me,

into whatever you desire.

Am I a cup?

Can I hold you?

Hold your tears and your anger

as you slam me carelessly

back onto the table.

Your own creation.

Your countless hours of

meaningless love.

Feeling me,

sculpting me,

bending me,

forcing me,

just to smile and discard me

when I crack.

My worth does not depend on you.

I was foolish to let it.

To be such an empty shell

that you could make me into

your fantasy,

never caring who I was.

Don’t worry, I get that part,

I’ve done similar.

I’ve taken bodies and faces,

twisting them into delusions.

Creating characters who never were

and never will be.

Is that our destiny?

I make believe that you are love and light

and I become your fixation.

If this is to be our fate

then may we collide

so many times

that we fuse.

Losing the boundaries of you and me,

becoming we.

I will be your clay

if you will validate me.

I will let you shape

my emotions and mind

if you allow me to glaze over

your manipulation

and make you shine.

This is how I love

a narcissist.

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