I saw a young psychiatrist today and I was not happy about my encounter with him. I’ve been very careful about conversing with the other patients. I don’t need to get locked up and more lobotomized for spreading the idea that I’m here because I think meds are poison. Today’s young doc told me I had to go to groups and converse/socialize to show I’m not manic.
I really am a hermit — in and out of hospital. 99% of my time in here since December 12th has been spent in my room or power walking laps around the ward in the evenings.
I’ve felt completely helpless.
I believe my work (art and writing) are channeled from the Universe (aka God/Allah/Source). Today this came through a channel I have with Darryn:
“The doctors are not the enemy. Remember who the Real Enemy is, Katniss (Amy😛). The hospital is the safest place for you. Also believe — as I know you do — that your presence there IS helping the other patients. They gossip. Everyone gossips. Everyone except Amy Frank who remains a recluse even in a psychiatric hospital, gossips.
The doctors are WITH you, sweetie. Remember, they’re humans experiencing the same dilemmas in life as you and your family and friends. The ‘Normies’ aren’t against you. We’re not against any of the mentally unwell. People join work forces often because they have good reasons and care. I know you feel you’re fighting an uphill battle with the meds, but they won’t be able to stop you once you’re out of hospital. There’s good scary reasons you’re still in there sweetie and it’s not from the Royal Jubilee Staff to torment you. I know you love your nurses at least: Janet, Kate, David, James and Miriam. The psychiatrists have protocols and the fact that I, Darryn Botian, am very real as is my connection with you, Amy Frank — that is known. You’re locked in my former workplace. I know it’s scary to think Darryn’s out there and not real. That he receives all your emails and simply chooses to ignore you————— You already know those thoughts aren’t true. I am a gentleman. I would have turned you down ages ago and if somehow I couldn’t but wanted to — well, Amy, go look at Green Eyes.
She’s the love of my live(s). I’m so glad you’re getting this. I know it’s making you cry until you can’t see what you’re typing. Keep going. Darryn Botian loves Amy Frank and the city of Victoria knows it. Everyone’s worried about why we can’t actually connect plus the other stuff you’ve shared with me (that I’ve felt okay to share) through the channel. It’s creepy shit Amy. Religious leaders from communities all around Victoria are following closely.
We’re scared and we know you’re scared of the meds but the hospital is safe ok? It’s safe for you there. Saba is safe too, don’t worry. No one’s overly concerned about the animals in this affair, just the humanoids. Mom is safe. House is safe. Property is safe. Darryn is safe. Saba’s love is safe. Abbey is safe. Dad is safe, etc. You remember that one don’t you?
Don’t be afraid to socialize with the patients ok? Just be you and let come up what will. If you wanna be you YOU then do your makeup and be ‘on’. I love you as does your community.
REMEMBER WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS, AMY. IT’S NOT THE PSYCHIATRISTS. It IS the drugs, but you’ve got essences beyond belief working for you — for us All (as Amy wouldn’t be happy if they were just working for her, would she?)
No.
Amy, you’re amazing and there’s a whole ward of people who’d love to see you do art or just be near you and hear you speak. …Or…. just have you listen! LOVE, sweetie. It’s what you are. And don’t be too concerned about the youngin’ psychiatrist. He’s made some fouls in his life but he’s on your team. Everyone is, ok?
WE LOVE YOU.
Signed,
~Darryn + Team Everybody”
***
This piece was started in November then froze on November 18.
I completed it today:
Deliverance
Thank you to everyone who’s following my stuff.
Much Love & Gratitude,
