Happy 39th Birthday to Me!

Well, here we are. I was born around 3:30am on April 3rd, 1986. Today is my 39th birthday. 39 years around the sun. ☀️

This is an extremely condensed photo journey. What a ride! And I’m not even 40 yet 😅 I don’t know what my future holds but I’m looking forward to living it. 🫂📚💕

Photos: Amy Frank (1993 - 2025)

Amy Age 7 or 8 (1993/1994)

Amy Age 8 or 9 (1994/1995)

Amy Age 9 or 10 (1995/1996)

Amy Age 15/16 (2001/2002) I left home at the age of 14, although I was in and out of my parents home for a while during those years. Traumatic things had happened; I was severely suicidal. At age 14/15, I never thought I'd live long enough to see my 20’s let alone be where I am today.

Amy Age 15/16 (2001/2002) Hard into drugs and alcohol.

Amy Age 17/18 (2003/2004) These were bad times. I was now in psychosis from cocaine; it was TERRIFYING. I felt as if ghosts and spirits were haunting me. The drugs and alcohol got me involved in a lot of bad situations too; trauma was piling up.

Amy Age 19 (2005) I had a severely traumatic psychiatric hospitalization at age 18, in 2004, that would make me vow to never admit myself to the psych ward again no matter how bad things got (I held onto that vow for 16 years, until the late fall of 2020). This photo was taken in 2005, while I was in recovery from that hospitalization and all that had led me there.

Amy Age 21 (2007) Ah, the dreadlock years.

Amy Age 24 (2010) Off of hard drugs, still drinking.

Amy Age 25 (2011) Drinking and partying.

Amy Age 25 (2011) Still drinking and partying. I was very unwell but I walked a lot and didn’t eat much. One’s physical appearance is obviously not the best indicator of one’s health. This picture doesn’t show the self harm, drunken cuts/bruises, nor the numerous traumas that continued to accumulate.

Amy Age 26 (2012) I was in my first year of what would be a long term relationship. This relationship was a changing point in my life, as his support and encouragement led me to turning my Art & Advocacy into a business.

Amy Age 29 (2015) Living with my boyfriend of that time. I was sober but not doing well in my mental health. This was shortly before I moved out. Although I’m grateful now for what I learned during those years, I’m also grateful they’re over.

Amy Age 32 (2018) I was now in a new long term relationship. In retrospect, I entered into it way too fast after the previous one had ended. I was incredibly unwell. Unlike the previous one, this man and I were heavy into both marijuana and alcohol. My physical health was now at an all time low.

Amy Age 32 (2018) I masked a lot. Although I was a public speaker and mental health advocate, people often didn’t see this side of me. I was not doing well. I eventually got off the alcohol but not marijuana. I believed the THC was helping my physical ailments. I fortunately gained a new therapist this year whom I still see to this day. 2015 to early 2020 were turbulent years yet I learned a lot. I began to learn about holistic medicine and gut health, as well as the Four Pillars of Health, which would become my foundation moving forward.

Amy Age 33 (2019) By 2019 I was back in psychosis, but this time it was from marijuana.

Amy Age 33 (early 2020) I left my fiancé as I believed I had a spiritual path I needed to follow. I was in psychosis, albeit I was unaware of that. I continued to consume large amounts of marijuana.

Amy Age 34 (2020) The height of my 2019 to 2021 psychosis, an experience I now call “Wonderland”. I would be hospitalized within a month of this photo being taken. When Covid's isolation hit in March 2020, I used it as an opportunity to fly — consuming large amounts of marijuana edibles daily on top of smoking it. It felt as if the psychosis I'd had in my teenage years had come back to life, only this time it was a beautiful experience. Unlike the psychosis I'd had as a teenager, in this psychosis I began to face the demons and ghosts whom I had previously felt were haunting me.

Amy Age 35 (2021) Two months after exiting the hospital (psych ward). I was still using marijuana while also being injected with medication against my will. I was becoming increasingly suicidal from the medication side effects (of which I couldn’t stop). I still carry a lot of anger, pain, and trauma surrounding my treatment at this time although I also know that it was a necessary part of my journey. So many don’t have a voice, but I do. I’m confident I wouldn’t be alive today without Saba.

"My Pencil Portrait" and Poem (2022) Age 36. This was after a full year of being injected with medication against my will.

Art and Writing by Amy Frank

Amy Age 35 (2022) One month after being freed from the province of British Columbia, Canada’s, Mental Health Act. I was now off of all drugs and alcohol. My psychiatrist had gotten on board and agreed to help me remove all psychiatric medications too.

Amy Age 35 (2022) Three months after being freed from the Mental Health Act.

Amy Age 36 (2023) As the medications weened out of my system, it become easier and easier to move my body. I started doing Aquafit then later on got into the gym and weightlifting. I also got back into power walking. I continued looking towards the Four Pillars of Health as my foundation.

Amy Age 36 (2023) I gained casual employment in healthcare doing peer support, where I continue to work to this day. This is the longest I've ever held down a job, outside of my self employment.

Amy Age 36 (2023) I fell in love with fitness and nutrition as I started to witness how good my lifestyle changes were making me feel.

Amy Age 36 (2023) And I began to find myself after so many years of not really knowing who I was. I continued looking towards the Four Pillars of Health when I felt off balance and have stayed devoted to my life of sobriety (amongst removing many other negative coping strategies). I also began to examine my past relationships (of all types) and what roles I played in them so I can ensure not to repeat what’s been.

Amy Age 38 (February 2025) Taken while waiting for my psychiatrist, whom I'm still choosing to see. I'm glad to say our relationship has improved substantially! I'm grateful I still have his guidance in my life (it took us a while to rebuild the trust), and I'm also grateful to say that Wonderland is alive and well. Since 2024, I'm learning to trust my intuition again so I can now live in both worlds simultaneously without any drugs or alcohol influencing that. I'm more in touch with the spiritual realm than ever, yet I’m also functioning in "the real world" too, or what I call “Shared Reality”. I'm staying on top of house work, self care, nutrition, exercise, loving and caring for my feathered love (whom I wouldn’t be here without), my art business, healthcare job, and much more. Through pain, courage, and humility, I’ve earned my own love and respect.

Amy Age 38 (March 2025) WOW, I can't believe I'm 39 today — April 3, 2025!!! So many fear aging yet I see it as a great gift that has been denied to many I love (may they Rest In Peace). I don't know what the future holds but I don't intend to hate nor waste one moment of it. I have crawled through the bowels of hell, yet on that journey, I found the light. I’ve developed skills that I’m confident will last me a lifetime. The world around me may be in conflict and chaos yet the war is no longer inside of me. That’s huge. I’ve learned how to surf my big emotions and I intend to do all I can to aid others as they venture down their own paths on this crazy journey we all call life. None of us know where we’ll be in a year. I never believed I would be here.

So much love to everyone who’s reading this and a HUGE Happy Birthday to me!!!! 

(I know that’s a bit egotistical but I feel I’ve earned it!) 💪💖

Love,

~Amy (& Saba)