I am getting well acquainted with my shadows these days. My demons aren’t sleeping and they’re certainly not dead. They’re alive and well fed. They work for me.
For so long, I turned my anger inward, attacking myself. I’m finally allowing myself to feel the anger in healthy ways; letting it speak and shout (albeit internally, or to people that I know are safe to open up to).
I understand now that anger, spite, and pain are as necessary to life as calm, love, and comfort. It’s the yin and the yang—a balance. My anger is a bodyguard. It sees injustice and those who defend it. It sees how insidious fear is, making people afraid to speak; to ask questions—to take a stand, even when they know that what’s happening, and/or what they’re partaking in, is wrong.
I can feel my anger in all its intensity—
storms raging through
my psyche and body.
Dark clouds vibrating
uncontrollably
with electricity.
Lightning bolts shrieking
as they slice the sky,
haphazardly.
Their ferocious luminosity
bringing light
to all that’s hidden
in shadow.
Our Great Mother
beating the drums,
smashing the cymbals,
as she dances
like a captivating cobra
in-between flashes
of dark and light:
Beautiful, elegant—
Demonized.
Striking down these systems
with every twist and lunge
burning them to the ground
with her fire and venom,
because she is love.
Because she loves…
All of us.
Despite how we
have disrespected her.
I can feel the rage
as it courses through my veins.
I can envision the chaos—
My demons,
licking their lips
with a snarling hunger
to be unleashed
on those whom harm
this great planet, our Mother,
the life upon her,
and each other;
yet I choose not
to turn my anger
into a weapon.
I fear I’m losing compassion for humanity, although I know I’m not. I’m losing tolerance. I don’t wish harm on anyone, including myself; I wish all of us healing. I wish all of us consciousness and awareness. I wish all of us accountability for what roles we play in our own and this planet’s suffering. I am sorry for that, as I know first hand how many live in shadow. I know how painful healing can be as this kind requires accountability, yet it’s what we need—It’s how we take our power back.
As I heal, I come to understand that everyone has free will. I don’t wish harm on anyone—on any life, energy, or even inanimate object; yet no matter how compassionate my heart may beat, I cannot protect people from the consequences of their own choices and actions. All I can do is choose how I act—how I will show up each and every day.”
~Amy Frank
Art by Amy Frank (2002 - Age 16)
“The world isn’t dangerous because of those who do harm, but because of those who watch and do nothing.”
~Albert Einstein (paraphrased)
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