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Lessons from Wonderland

I watched a great reel recently about how when we have a crush on someone, it's important to not place them on a pedestal. Projecting a perfect persona onto someone is detrimental as it isn't real so they can't possibly live up to it. The reel stated that as soon as they don't, the rose coloured glasses come off and we may start treating them negatively as they're not living up to the image we dreamed them out to be.

Curiosity can lead to filling in unknowns with fantasy, make believe, or anxiety. It can be a fun place to dwell (or a horrific one) but none of it is reality. The only way to know someone is by talking to them. Conversations require both people to engage, by asking/answering questions or volunteering information about oneself and ones life.

We live in a world where fake has become idealized, yet I choose to believe that real is always going to be better.

I started paying for sessions last year for a skin treatment that would help my face not turn red when I workout. All together, it was going to be well over $500. I did one session and then I stopped. I remembered that I used to date a guy who loved that my face turned red. To me it's annoying and unattractive, where to someone else this 'flaw' was endearing and adorable.

Our scars, our pains, our quirks – the things we don't like about ourselves – other people might see as our unique beauty and defining individuality. In this day and age, real is rare and real is beautiful.

I learned a lot while in Wonderland, or perhaps it was exiting Wonderland that has taught me what it has. The reel was nice to watch as it confirmed one of the things I learned. It’s best to see and meet people for who they actually are, not whom we want them to be.

Art as Therapy Book 3: "Navigating Wonderland" (2021) opening pages by Amy Frank


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