I'm having a hard night. I think I have to accept a med change and go back on the med that caused the Parkinsonism but in the injected form as I have little choice. The Parkinsonism grew worse over time until I had to draw with markers. The shaking and weak hands made it impossible to cut fruit and vegetables. I realize it was a med interaction that crippled me fully in November 2019 - December 2019, for a month, but leading up to that interaction I still had a terrible tremor and my arm would seize and shake against my body, just like Parkinson's. It was gradually growing worse over time. I'm not looking forward to going back. I think if you asked anyone with Parkinson's if they could stop taking something and their symptoms would go away, I think they would stop whatever it was right away. Nobody would choose an autoimmune disorder. I know I can't continue on with craving cigarettes and chewing nicotine gum though. It's not a good long term solution for trying to calm the Akathisia everyday. I really enjoyed being a non-smoker plus I'm single and I really don't want to date a smoker or else I'll become one. I know I shouldn't be dating right now anyway and I'm not, I'm just thinking about the future. Nicorette wasn't easy to quit, harder for me than cigarettes as at least with cigarettes I had a crutch (nicotine gum), but I've done it before and I know I can do it again.
Marijuana is different for me as I'm not a social user. Marijuana can heighten social anxiety for me when I smoke it. I have to be super comfortable with someone to be stoned around them. It's a solo activity. I like to write, listen to music, draw, listen to audiobooks or podcasts and lie in bed drifting in story land listening to a playlist I made on Spotify called Gentle Love although I listen to other playlists too. Gentle Love has got a lot of Celtic, Spiritual, Religious, & Instrumental songs on it. Some of it I consider Fairy Music. It plays in the background all day from when I get up until midnight. It has some instrumental soundtracks from epic films. The music carries me on a journey within myself. It inspires my art and my writing. Music is so powerful! I'm a night owl these days so my night is still young. Sleep well sleeping folk and I'm sure I'll post more later on Facebook for the nocturnal ones (or those around the globe). Thank you for following my journey. 🙏
