The Gift of Shame

Our society seems to enjoy categorizing emotions as higher or lower vibration—good and bad. Shame is one that often seems to get a bad rap. For me, shame has been one of the most powerful building blocks.

The shame and embarrassment of what I did when I was very unwell with my mental health and addictions became a catalyst for change because it forced me to look in the mirror and decide that I never wanted to act like that again. It was humbling. It broke me. And, it made me into a better me.

This is why I feel frustrated when so many in our society, including professionals, want to avoid (or help others avoid) feeling shame. To me, that attempt to be kind actually denies people the gift of growth that shame can bring.

I liked this quote by an unknown author as it encourages a mind-shift. I don’t personally see feelings as good or bad (although some are certainly downright awful to experience). I’ve learned instead to see emotions as information. I’ve also learned that the more we try to suppress or avoid what we’re authentically feeling, the worse those feelings get. The way out is through feeling what we’ve been trying to run from—to let it permeate us and maybe even break us. And no, I don’t mean kill us. Suicide is still an attempt to escape the feelings—to stop the pain in the only way one knows how to in that moment. What I mean is to let it shatter the sense of perfection and self. To let it hurt. To say “I did that. I did. And it wasn’t okay. Now, I want to do all in my power to ensure I never do that again.”

Our actions aren’t who we are. We can change if and when we’re ready to. Feel it—yes—and please give yourself grace to use that shame as fertilizer.

Much love to everyone who’s soaking in regret right now. 🫂

~Amy Frank

Meme by Raging Rhetoric

Quote Unknown