Dog-Tired But Still Dancing

This morning I looked in the mirror and said:

“I love you, Amy.

You’re doing great.

You’re no better nor worse than anyone else.

I’m proud of you, Amy.

I love you, Amy.

Thank you, Amy.”

I didn’t want to get up today. I had a bit of a breakdown last night. My art mentors came over to help me prep for my upcoming solo show The Wisdom of Wonderland. There’s so much to do. It’s overwhelming. I’m so grateful to both my mentors, as well as to everyone who has stepped up to help me. I couldn’t do this alone.

People contact me frequently, thanking me—friends, strangers, and family. They tell me that I’m inspirational, an Angel, and other kind words. When I hear that I’m inspirational, I look at history—I look at what inspirational people had to go through. They suffered in extreme ways.

It seems egotistical to call oneself inspirational but it is nice to hear others view me that way.

I still cry everyday. There is so much pain in this world, in my past, in my head, and in my heart, but gosh, there’s so much beauty and love here too. There’s so much to be grateful for.

I watched an ant carry a huge crumb today. How incredible it was to watch. Ants can lift 10-50 times their body weight. How phenomenal life is, when one actually takes the time to stop and look.

Sometimes the ghosts find me, and other times I’m the ghost reaching out to someone else. Often the words I write to others, are meant for me too:

“Find that aim, that reason for being that’s greater than you, put it in your sight and never let go of it. No matter how stormy the seas get, find the purpose within it all.

It’s okay to regret; it’s important to feel whatever emotions one genuinely feels, but don’t live there. We can’t change the past but we all have the power to do differently in the present moment, changing the future.”

I’m enjoying my new playlist this afternoon as I work on art business stuff: ‘Gentle Love’, spelled correctly this time. Magic. Mystery. Fantasy. Fairy music. 🎶🧚‍♀️✨Hope. Belief. Faith. 🙏

I don’t know what the future holds but I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. Everything just felt like too much. I did get up though. I got up, had breakfast, and then I blasted my Sh!t Mix and cleaned. I still like the sad music. I love how it leads me through the memories of my life.

I danced as I mopped my floors. A line from a poem I shared last year has been echoing in my head these last few days:

“Dog-tired but still dancing kind of sexy.” ~L.E. Bowman

Keep dancing. 🎶

Much love to everyone whom is reading this. 🫂😘

*non-alcoholic wine 😉