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I Am Ready

Being a mental health advocate has allowed me to shift the view of my challenges to see them like this - an opportunity to help others as I have gained lived experience with substance misuse, the sex trade, mental illness, and homelessness. It sure makes the hard days more worthwhile when I know people are looking towards me for inspiration and hope in their own lives and trials, despite us all having very different paths in life.

I had a good cry before I fell asleep last night. I feel I’m destined to burn as a way to give light. It’s a lonely place sometimes, so I guess it’s good that I enjoy my own company. I find strength in solitude. I’ve also notoriously felt lonelier when I’m surrounded by others than when I’m on my own. I just hope that I don’t grow to be so independent, that I don’t let someone else in when the time is right.

If I can take my pain and make it into art, into poetry and writing — into systematic changes regarding the treatment of psych patients, then I’m okay with burning. Light me ablaze and watch as I dance. I will turn to ash only to rise again and again, stronger and more resilient.

In my spiritual beliefs, I chose this life. I chose pain and madness. Loneliness. Grief. Because it is through knowing these things, that I am able to connect with others so that they may feel a little less alone, a little less in pain, and a little less mad.

Hardships and agony can breed unbreakable bonds. These are the times that show others and us who we truly are.

I mentioned a while ago that I have four big art events already scheduled for this year. The first two are private, where the 3rd and 4th will be publicly announced soon enough. The first one takes place this Monday afternoon - my first talk of the year in conjunction with a workshop I’m leading on an Art as Therapy technique called Scribble Art. My slideshow is updated and I’ve got a friend I’m seeing on Sunday who’s offered to let me do a final practice run on her.

I’ve been afraid to speak but I am ready now.

Much love everyone. I’m well aware that I don’t know the full extent of who sees these posts, but if you’re reading this then I assume some part of you cares. Thank you for that.

Author of quote unknown.

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